The Serenity Prayer for Coaches
Using an age-old framework to be a better coach
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
That is The Serenity Prayer - popularized in 12-step groups and, quite honestly, a pretty solid framework for how to live a content and happy life
This prayer has brought comfort to countless people…and for good reason.
I was driving back from the beach and heard the prayer in passing and thought that the prayer could be applied to coaching as well.
Let’s break it down:
Serenity to accept the things I cannot change
Courage to change things I can
Wisdom to know the difference
As a coach, there may be some things you need to accept…some tough pills to swallow.
We may not like it, but it’s true.
There are some things that, no matter what we try, how hard we study, or how many YouTube videos we watch…we just can’t change.
The first step is accepting these things as truth, letting them go, and then figuring out what you have control over and changing that.
This takes time, experience, and discipline.
Let’s look at some practical examples:
Can you control that your school district only allows you to meet for 2-hour open gyms twice a week? No.
Can you control how well you maximize every second you have with your players during their allotted time by cutting out fluff drills, focusing on high-leverage activities, and having a detailed practice plan? Yes.
Can you control who is on your schedule? Probably not (and if you can, be smart about this).
Can you control how you approach every game on your schedule as a culture, program, and team-building experience…developing habits that are going to benefit your players and program in the long run? Yes.
Can you control that the school you coach at is “football school” and kids will almost always choose to play football over basketball if there is a choice? No.
Can you control how you pitch YOUR program, work side-by-side with the football program to find ways to benefit both programs/coaches, and do the best with your kids when you have them? Yes.
Can you control who shows up to your open gyms and summer league games? No.
Can you control how you spend the time with the players who ARE there? Yes.
Can you control that you have a roster full of 5’10’’ players who are mediocre shooters? No.
Can you control what you run on offense and defense, find ways to give your team a chance, and put together a system that puts them in the best spots possible to compete? Yes.
You get the point.
I’m aware this isn’t an Xs and Os or culture-building post with a tool for you - but this is one of the most important things about coaching…and maintaining your sanity.
As a coach, you must find a way to be wise enough to know where to spend your energy.
Spend it on the things you CAN control.
There are a ton of things you can’t control.
There are a lot of important things you can control.
There’s no point in whining about the things you can do nothing about. None. Zero.
It does no good except waste energy and thought processing on the things that you can have an impact on.
Choose to focus on the things you can control - you’ll have a more enjoyable season, people won’t get tired of hearing you whine all the time, and it’ll make you a better coach.
Until next time!
P.S. - Check out these tools to help you grow as a coach:
Hoops Companion Master Playbook/Drill Book with almost 500 pages of plays and drills
Program Audit - everything you need to do a deep dive on your team/program; the best and most practical thing Hoops Companion offers
Join Hoops Companion Extra - for $5/month, you can get 5 links in your inbox EVERY weekend…and other perks